For the next few months I’m going to try writing a blog post at the beginning of the month checking in about what’s new in my life.
Health Check In:
I am continuing to feel more energy which is awesome! I am not back to my energy levels when I was 30, and truthfully I wan’t that active of a 30 year old so this is kind of a low bar, but compared with where I was a year ago — even 6 months, 2 months ago — I can see definite improvement!
I am learning that it is way easier to take care of myself when I feel like shit than it is to take time for myself when I feel kind of ok. I’m running face to face with a part of me that apparently believes that if I’m not exhausted I should be productive. So for a few weeks I was experiencing some real highs and lows. I would have a couple of days filled with activities, teaching, practicing, writing, house cleaning, etc… and then I would crash and feel really angry and upset about it. It was not fun to live like that. Nor was I fun to live with!
So I am trying something different, namely learning to take care of myself at the first signs of fatigue rather than after I’m facing a wall of exhaustion. Rather than pushing myself harder in those moments of fatigue, I’m learning how to be soft with myself. And then I have to be understanding with myself that I will feel emotional and undeserving when I do this. The plus side is when I let myself rest, and rejuvenate when I want to, I find the next day I wake up, you know, actually restored.
Part of the reason that I’ve decided to post once a month and make it a general check in is that while I’m writing a lot (for me) I’m not thinking in blog posts right now. Not that I was ever a prolific blogger, but for awhile I was having a lot of fun with the book crush posts. And I may throw one in now and then again… if I feel like it. But my journalling has been turning into story ideas, some poems, and essays that I want to explore. I’m not sure if I will publish them on my blog, or submit them somewhere else, or maybe just keep them for myself.
In other creative news I am knitting now! Or if you follow my social media and already know this, I’m still knitting. I just started last November and am only growing more intrigued by what one can make with yarn. It has been therapeutic to be creating something when all my brain can’t think straight enough to read… or even converse well with others. Working with beautiful yarn that feels good in my hands is a bonus as well. I feel like a part of me is being soothed and comforted.
What’s new is that I’m co-leading a 6 week series titled Intentional Living. I loveit! I feel this last couple years, as my choices in life got seemingly smaller, how I worked with my focus became all the more important. My partner in this journey is Chris Dembiec. We come from delightfully different angles on this and it’s so fun to work with him. I’ll tell you more when more sessions are scheduled.
I’m also leading a yoga Mini-Retreat on May 19th. I’ve been dreaming of this since I completed my Advanced Forrest Yoga Teacher Training two years ago. I was so inspired by the long morning practices starting with meditation and ritual, leading into a luxurious practice where there was time really prepare for apex poses. This is also a way to say thank you to my students this last year. Their belief in me — and the fact that they were dedicated enough to keep showing up for classes — made it possible for me to continue teaching even when I wasn’t at my best. The fact that my body remains strong is helping my recovery, but it would have been so much harder to remain disciplined in this area if I wasn’t responsible for teaching others.